The Reason
by mikaylaluv
Summary: Allegiant from Tris' point of view after her death. Allegiant spoilers.


**2425 words. Damn. So I had a dream last night that turned into this. :3 **

**This is Allegiant from Tris' point of view after she passes. She doesn't want to leave her Four behind.**

**All Characters belong to Veronica Roth and whoever turned the book into a movie. The only character that is mine is Carlie. :3**

**Dedicated to my friends on tumblr. You know you y'all are. **

Tris remembered going into her mother's welcoming arms after the gun pierced her. Her mother was /proud/ of her. Her mother said that everyone would be alright, but a feeling in the pit of Tris' stomach was screaming otherwise. "There are things I need to take care of. I can't go without seeing them, Mom."

Natalie touched her daughter's cheek before nodding slowly and disappearing. Tris looked back down at her body, curled up, face soft. She looked peaceful. When Tris went to touch the wall, she slid right through it and she followed her hand to the outside. It was a strange feeling to be flying without the fear of falling to the ground, much like the initiation ritual.

Tris looked down to see Evelyn, Four and Peter walking from Erudite to the Millennium Park. She was curious as to what exactly was going on. She followed them, close behind until the stairs, where Tris stopped and looked around before landing and taking the stairs down. She stopped when she heard the voices and listened in closely. Treaty…they were making a treaty?

Tris rolled her eyes when Marcus started to refuse, Tris gently leaned her head against the wall, not wanting to fall through as she started to hear a small exchange between Four and someone else. Her heart broke slightly when he confirmed that he had found a life on the outside. Tris knew he was taking about her. Tris made her way back up the stairs and waited for Four to emerge.

When he did, she followed him. Tris wanted to call out to him, tell him that he couldn't return to her. But she knew that wouldn't have been able to hear her. He went to tell Hana and Zeke the the news about Uriah and Tris could have cried. Another friend, gone.

They left to go the compound, and Tris waited before following. It started to snow, and Tris held out a hand to try and catch the flakes as they fell. A smile appeared on her face. She eventually caught up. Tris couldn't see the exchange in the car, but that was alright for now. They were probably happy, and that is all that mattered.

* * *

><p>When they made it to the compound, Tris landed and followed the group in. Tris looked over at Cara and bit her lip before walking over to Four. He asked for her and all Cara could reply with was an apology. Tris looked up when Cara started to explain what happened.<p>

Four's face changed. From joy, to concern, to emotionless. The thoughts running through his head right now must have been unbearable. "Four…" Tris whispered, desperate. Nothing. She looked around the group. It didn't phase them that she wasn't there. Because to them, she wasn't.

Christina called out in emotional pain and Tris looked over, "Chris.." she whimpered. Tris felt the tears falling down her face. Her best friend and the love of her life. One showing emotion, and the other was retreating back into the state where Tris first met him. Tris turned to Four and put her hand on his arm, "Four, please. Come back…you need to come back!"

Tris backed up grabbing onto her head and crouching down, "This is not funny! I want to leave. Get me out of this landscape!" she called out Tris clawed at her body, trying to rip off anything that might make her reappear, safe and warm. Four probably hovering over with a concerned look on his face. Tris would be able to press her lips against his; soft, warm and inviting. He was wrap his arms around her and Tris would melt into his comforting warmth. Family. That's what they were, that's what they were supposed to be. Tris may have only been 16, but she felt much older than that. Tris knew she wanted to marry Four and start and actual family with him. Helping him realize that he is nothing like Marcus. Tris could see him being an amazing father. But that wasn't going to happen with them now.

Tris looked back up at Four, no, Tobias. Her Tobias, and he was leaving. His body was stiff, movements not fully there. Cara lead them into the morgue where her body was laying there. Tris followed them and watched as Tobias grabbed onto her hand and held it tight. Tris glanced down at her almost transparent hand, feeling the warmth, and how desperate he was to have her back. A moment later, he falls to his knees, and his shoulders move with sobs. He is louder than he thinks he is and Tris walks over and kneels down next to him. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry." She whispers. Tris ran her fingers over his hair. She watched until her vision went blurry and her heart shattered. She had never seen Tobias this broken, and it happened because of her. This was the straw that broke the camel's back for her Tobias.

When he finally looked up, she looked at the tears on his face. His lips parted and slightly cracked. His eyes were red and blotchy and Tris wanted to take away his pain. She reached over and tried to wipe away the tears. She leaned over and placed a kiss in his hair. She knew he wouldn't have been able to feel it, but it made her feel only a little bit better. "I love you…it's me…" she whispered.

"Tris." The calming voice of her mother brought Tris back. The girl looked over at Natalie before getting up and running over, breaking down. When her mother's arms wrapped around her, Tris felt her legs give out. "Oh Beatrice." Natalie whispered.

"He's hurting." Tris sobbed, "And It's all my fault. I don't want him to be hurting. Put me back!" She screamed.

Natalie held her close and rocked her, closing her eyes in the process, "I wish I could, my child."

"I want to stay here. I'm going to watch over him until I know he's okay." Tris whispered.

Natalie nodded and slowly let her go, "Take as much time as you need."

* * *

><p>Tris followed them back to the compound, where all she did was follow Tobias around. If she was human, it would have looked stalkerish and creepy. But somehow that didn't matter to Tris right now. She wanted to make sure he was safe. That he wasn't going to try and do anything stupid to hurt himself. She followed them out to stone sculpture and watched as no one interacted.<p>

When Caleb showed up, Tris made her way over. She hoped he remember what she asked him to do. She watched Tobias' face. Anger. He was pissed at Caleb, and had every right to be. When Caleb told Tobias what Tris wanted him to say, she put her hand on his arm and watched inbetween both of them. Caleb was on the verge of crying which made Tris ache. Her brother. He may have been a jerk, but this was the true side of Caleb. The one she knew.

Tobias sat on the ground and Tris followed him down, sitting next to him, her legs tuc ked to the side and she rested her head on his shoulder. "I didn't want to leave. I wanted to do what was right. I'm sorry..." she whispered. Cara sat down next to him and Tris watched the water with them, not moving.

Christina finds them and they are lead to the hospital where Uriah was being unplugged. Tris stood away from the rest of them.

"Stiff."

The voice sent chills down Tris's spine. She turned and was greeted with the face of Eric's smirk.

"Eric." Tris responded, lifeless.

Eric looked over her shoulder at Tobias, "Like a lost puppy dog. I had to see if it was true, you following him around."

Tris gritted her teeth and took in a deep breath, "I'm watching over him because I want to make sure he is safe. I love him Eric, get over it. We snuck up on each other. And I'm sorry you couldn't get the stick out of your ass long enough to realize that someone like Tobias caqn have feelings."

"Oh trust me stiff, I knew." Eric replied. Tris heard footsteps running away and she turned before walking over to the window and seeing Hana step away of Uriah. Tris completely ignmored what Eric was saying and took off after Tobias, allowing her feet to leave the ground in order to follow him.

* * *

><p>Tris waited outside of Tobias' bedroom that night. She didn't want to go in, the memories hurting her, she would have been destroyed walking in. She remembered his bed being warm, and how he slept on the floor. Tris smiled a bit at the memory. She blushed a bit when she remembered the night on the balcony. Where she asked about his tattoos and they kissed for the first time. She heard the small growl when she pulled away. He wanted more, and his arms tightened around her possessively. Tris would have been lying if she claimed it didn't turn her on when that happened. But she wanted to wait. The first time they made love, it was perfect. Tris wouldn't have wanted anything different.<p>

Tris was caught up in her thoughts that she almost missed the click of the lock when Tobias opened up the door. She got up and followed him, wondering what he was doing.

He didn't it without a second thought. He picked up the memory serum and Tris pursed her lips, "You're kidding me, right? Of all the things Tobias Eaton, you're going to erase your memory?!" she followed him out to the car and stood infront of the door. "SEE ME DAMN IT. I'M RIGHT HERE." She screamed at him. But he was able to open the door and slip in. Right through her. The door closed and the car took off. Tris went after him, flying through the air. "Coward." She murmured.

He pulled up to a housein Abnegation and Tris sighed as she followed him inside. When he walked into the room, Tris followed before settling on the bed. "Don't do it." She whispered as he started to shave his hair. He looked different than from the first time she met him. His face was sunken in. His grief present against the muscles in his body. He brought out the memory serum and held it in his hand. Tris walked over and placed her hand over his, coving the vial. "Don't do it, Tobias. Don't forget me, please.." she whispered. "You're stronger than this."

A voice shook Tris and she looked over to see Christina. "Chris…stop him." She stated, her lower lip trembling.

Tris watched the exchange between Christina and Tobias. Tris wrapped her arms around herself and when Tobias calmed down she sat back downo on the bed, The expression on his face: hurt, lost, confused. This happened because of her. She made this happen. Tris couldn't help but look away, she wanted to take away that pain. To give him life in his eyes, a smile on his lips and strength in his arms.

Tris returned to her parents again. But she still went to visit Tobias at times. He got an apartment and a job. Tris started to push girls towards him, but he didn't seem to take any of them. It gave her a little bit of hope.

* * *

><p>When it came to the day they were spreading her ashes, Tris followed Tobias to where they were doing it. The zipline. He was going to test his fear of heights. Tris met them at the top of the building and watched as Christina went down backwards. Then Matthew and Shauna.<p>

Finally Four climbed in and Tris floated next to him, grasping his hand in hers. "Together.." she whispered. When he started to take off, she was close behind him. He laughed as she heard his screams and watched as the ashes spread out. When he was safely to the ground, Tris landed, tears in her eyes and a grin on her face. "You did it.": she whispered. After an exchange with Christina, Tris ran over and took Tobia's face in her hands, leaning up on her toes and kissing him softly. Something was different. There was a slight pressure back, and when Tris pulled away, his lips pouted slightly, and his eyes were almost closed. Almost as if he felt her, "Tobias…" she said softly.

He opened his eyes, and it seemed as though he was looking straight into her eyes. Tris' heart fluttered for a moment before she saw him turn and walk away.

That night, Tris went into his apartment. She was happy to see that he was sleeping. It may have looked weird, but Tris sat behing him, watching his chest as he breathed. She leaned over and kissed the back of his neck, right at his shoulder blades. "You're brave, selfless, truthful, smart and kind." She said as she touched his hair. "You're everything." He saw him stirring and she watched him. Tobias turned over with a confused, yet tired look on his face. He was half awake, and Tris fell even more in love with him. "Tris…" he whispered softly.

"Yes…I'm here. It's me. I love you." Tris said, hopeful.

Tobias turned back over letting out a sigh and closed his eyes again, tightly, as if to block everything. She stayed right next to him that whole night. Never leaving his side.

* * *

><p>It was a year later when Tobias met Carlie. And eighteen months after that when Tris was watching them walk out from the building where they got married. They stood on the steps, cheers from their family and friends. Tobias held onto his wife and kissed her. Tris looked away. Yeah, Tris was the one that pushed them together, but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt seeing it happen. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she leaned into her father's touch. Tris gave one last glance as Tobias and Carlie got into the car.<p>

When they drove away, Tris didn't follow, putting her full trust in Carlie's hands to keep him save. To keep him loved. To be his family and give him a family. To be the wife and mother Tris never had a chance to be. Tris trusted her, and that was good enough.

Tris turned and disappeared for the last time.


End file.
